She said her name was "party"
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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