3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I got chris browned last night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
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I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
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My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
there is puke in my bra ... again
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