went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize