the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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