I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize