i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize