I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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