Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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