Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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