you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize