i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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