You made me cry and you don't even care
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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