I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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