Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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