I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize