if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize