You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize