I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize