You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
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The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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