No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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