Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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