And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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