we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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