I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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