do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize