it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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