I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize