i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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