And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize