If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize