I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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