it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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