I skipped work to stalk him.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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