Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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