Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize