Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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