Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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