I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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