Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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