Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
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