i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
where does the pee come out of this thing
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did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
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Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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