you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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