look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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