He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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