he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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