oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize