hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't turn off my feet"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
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