i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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