seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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