Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
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It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There's always time for handjobs
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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