I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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